Getting to know my neighbours, gosh darned it!
I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth saying again: I recently moved to a small, rural community in the middle of the woods. It’s a 35-minute drive from the city, and about 40 of us live in the community full-time. I’m not totally confident about that number, though, because despite it being a very small community, I still haven’t met all my neighbours.
And that’s something I keep chewing on. Neighbours, what it means to live in community when the community is so itty bitty, social cohesion, etc. etc.
(I’m not the only one mulling this over: some of my favourite writers are in the midst of writing entire books about this! Check out Rosie Spinks’ article about her forthcoming book, “How to Build a Village,” and Kirsten Lie-Nielsen, who is working on a memoir about her time living rurally on a homestead.)
Side note: a detour into the things I do for work and how they impact me IRL
I don’t spend a lot of time talking about my work, but today I’m gonna, because this one particular organization I do some occasional work for is super cool and happens to be pretty relevant to my current living situation.
Building Resilient Neighbourhoods (BRN), based in BC, is a nonprofit that develops and tests different types of programs aimed at building neighbour connections and community resilience. They do this work in a bunch of different types of communities: single-family home neighbourhoods, urban neighbourhoods, as well as in multi-family buildings.
Recently, BRN looped me in to help transcribe some notes from a workshop they held, as part of a greater community-building effort in Victoria. Those notes led to the article linked below (I had no involvement in writing it), which details several practical ways to build connections with neighbours, in whatever kind of neighbourhood you find yourself in. It’s a great list, IMO.
BRN isn’t paying me to write this post! Their work has obviously been on my radar since I work for them, but it’s taken on new meaning for me, now that I myself am living in a micro-community in the woods. As I was going through the notes, I found myself saying (repeatedly), “Oh, this is a cool idea, I’d like to try that! Oh, that one is, too!”
So, I went through the list (and my own personal notes about the notes I was transcribing, lol) and identified several things I’m already doing, as well as a few I’d like to try out in my new neighbourhood. Here they are!
Things I’ve done/am doing to meet my neighbours ✅
Introduce yourself to someone new on your street
It’s been fun to go for walks during my workday and randomly run into people! I’m within walking distance of our garbage and recycling transfer station, so on some days, I’ll walk my stuff to the bins and meet people along the way.
Ask someone to join you on a neighbourhood walk
A fellow work-from-home-er (WFH-er, for short) and I try to meet up 2x/week for a quick lunch-break walk. She has a 30-minute window, so we make it short and sweet. It’s a great way to break up the day and get a little IRL human-to-human contact.
Start an annual block party
My partner and I will be hosting our 3rd annual New Year’s Eve Day Tobogganing party this year; it’s a hoot! Last year, we had our biggest turnout ever: maybe 40? 50 people? We throw a fire pit down at the bottom of our driveway, people bring hot dogs and s’mores (and maybe an adult beverage or two…), and sled until the sun goes down. It’s fun for kids and adults!
Invite the fire department to run a fire safety workshop
As I mentioned earlier, the community I’ve joined is tucked into the forest, which is beautiful and serene and all the things you can imagine about being surrounded by trees. It can also be a little anxiety-inducing as BC sees more intense wildfires each summer.
About a month ago, I got in touch with our regional district to ask about what our community could do to mitigate the risk of a wildfire. They put me in touch with our Wildfire Mitigation Specialist, and together, we organized a public info session, complete with a free lunch! About 40 people showed up, a mix of full- and part-timers. I was blown away by the response, and delighted to meet some neighbours who’ve lived in the community for a while but who I hadn’t yet met in person.
Better still, since that meeting, more community members are coming out of the woodwork to say hello and introduce themselves on our community’s WhatsApp group. Not two weeks ago, a wildfire broke out about 10km away, and the group chat was abuzz as we all kept each other updated. It’s happening! We’re forming cohesion!
Things I’m excited to try ⏳
Start a weekend morning coffee drop-in for neighbours
The community fire meeting seems to have sparked (hehe, pun intended) a renewed interest in emergency preparedness. When I posted the meeting notes to the WhatsApp group, I offered that perhaps if folks were interested, we could keep the conversation going on some sunny Sunday. I think this would be a perfect coffee chat!
We don’t have any indoor public third spaces in our community (I’m working on it), but there is a boat launch by a very pretty lake. On a clear day, it could be the perfect place for a warm (or cold!) beverage rendezvous…
Organize casual neighbour meetups
Recently, I attended a media conference at a community farm and got to chatting with a fellow participant about the small communities we were each a part of. She lives on Galiano Island, a small island off the coast of BC, and had to figure out creative ways to get to know her neighbours, too. One thing that she mentioned was that their community hall would host weekly (or monthly?) soup lunches for anyone to stop by to grab a meal. I think it was free (or subsidized somehow), and it was consistently the same day each day (or month).
By creating a recurring event on the same day and time, people can show up when they want, and there’s less pressure than a one-off event.
I’m thinking little weekend morning nature walks with neighbours might be fun! We did this a few months ago with a neighbour and her daughter, and it was delightful. We rambled through the woods, chatting the whole time and basking in the freshness of the forest. What themes should I propose for conversation starters? My go-to is plants and birds. LOL.
Invite neighbours to a summer BBQ
I grew up going to an annual summer BBQ that long-time friends of my parents hosted at their house. Every Fourth of July, my family, along with their friends and neighbours, and sometimes their coworkers, would descend on their farm in Pennsylvania for a big ole pig roast. It’s something that Don and Lynne (my godfather and his wife) have been orchestrating since the 80s! It’s smaller these days, but the tradition lives on.
We’re eager to bring the tradition to our corner of BC, and I think it could be a really fun way to bring the neighbourhood together in the summer.
What are some things that jumped out at you? What do you do to get to know/stay in touch with your neighbours?
My goal is to get to know all my neighbours, dang it! I don’t need to be besties with everyone, but it’d be nice to know who’s in the ‘hood – to stave off loneliness, build resilience and social cohesion, and stay prepared. ✨
